I think the creation of a congregational community I'm a part of was consistent with the start of this blog in 2008?  My involvement with the same community is motivating my post today.

Shirat HaNefesh, like many Jewish communities, has been socially progressive.  But, in the last 6 years, that's been changing...but by seemingly somewhat random events.  A person I'm reluctant to name became active then, I think, and now, I'm moved to leave the organization, for the change of this fact pattern.  We've recently had presented to us a letter to sign, saying we stand up for immigrants, who have been spurned by Trump.  It asked for clergy signature, representing the congregation, it was presented to the board for their agreement, requiring 2/3 agreement, and they said no...we won't sign. Very much recently before this, in another set of actions, it came forward that the board was asked for the community to agree that we'd be politically quiet, for the sake of shalom bayit, respecting that we disagreed on many things.  In substance this came forward.

Minor notes to the above from the board request we be quiet as a community, the request bifurcated into 2 letters, being most things, and Israel.  The one on most things approved, and I missed that meeting. The second meeting on Israel did not conclude, but in substance, joined with the other one.

Scott Schneider, thank goodness, has been active, and pushing against this, as seemingly our conscience.  He points to language in the most recent request re immigation, calling it non-controversial, and this being a cause to bring to the board for our ratification.  But, he alone reports back to the community, saying the board does not approve this.

And now....the question(s) all go to "right action."  Specifically, first...what is right action for me, in relation to this congregational community.  Inclusive of the questions:

• do I stay
• do I alert (any) others to my consideration of leaving
• If I do, am I inappropriately causing divisiveness

I had stepped back already, becoming an associate member, when we went from meeting weekly, to meeting twice a month. And, this cause seems easy to explain. I joined Fabrangen, where I've been going sometimes.  There, I've not connected that much. But, I'm a full member there, and can attend without any regrets.  But, I can't say the same for Shirat HaNefesh.

I reduced my membership near September.  And, right at that time, after having complained in the summer about our lack of good attention to some details, like attention to the torah, I was asked to lead a ritual committee. I pointed out I was associate, and George affirmed, and said this was ok. He did also ask for my leadership.

Confidentially (I say this...noting this is a public space I'm writing in), I think George may be between a rock and a hard place.  I observe, only, that he may be (can't be sure) personally sympathetic with being progressive, and his wife may be more hard line.  She recently somewhat revealed herself on our discuss list.

We CAN have all sides.  But...there is a question of...who are we more fundamentally.

Back to my engagement with the ritual committee.....an early proposition for the establishment of the committee....included a question of....representation. On what basis should we regard, the work of the committee is representing the congregation.  I wrote, in establishing the committee, about 4 things to be mindful of, and this was the 4th, which I took to be foundational.

We've only met about 3 times, this committee. In the first meeting, when the question came up about how often to meet, since there seemed a question about it, I suggested every other month.  In our 3rd meeting, it was suggested....maybe only meet as needed, and our Rabbah (also) suggested too many emails, and she may need to charge us for them.  Maybe this is all on me.  Then again, our Rabbah also uniquely, though while she was sick, had initially agreed to provided letters of reference for me to schools I was applying to, DID do this for Aleph, but bailed on others.  So, her ability to relate to email is in some question.  And, although my exposition on email is known to be problematic.....this is all elective.  I have one voice.  And, some have shared they value it.  I've not been inclined to silence myself.  But, I do try to measure my emails.

Right now, I'm motivated to write out some thoughts, here, before writing a new email. Which, I'm moved to do...re both this vote from last night, and the ritual committee.

 Good morning.

Following past practice....there has been ANOTHER 6 year gap, since I've returned to this blog.  Let's see if I stay this time.

It's 2025, February (18).  I rediscovered this space a few weeks ago. Lately, I'm thinking about the fall, when I'm likely to begin a graduate program. I'll also have just turned 70, be eligible for, and anticipate taking my maximum social security benefit.

Particularly, having applied to 10 graduate programs, and I'm trying to give meaning to the underlying decision of which program to select, it's occured to me, today, that using this blog to dialog with, or document, or post to...some ideas I have, could be hepful.  So....that's my intention, right now.

For now, closing this post, to see how this presents.

Questions are raised here...

https://turnitturnit.substack.com/p/rabbis-authority-and-evolutions-of

...about what a rabbi is.

It's partly relevant to me, since one of the 10 programs I'm applying to, is Aleph, which is a rabbinical school program, where I would train to become a rabbi.

The other 9 programs are master degree programs...of 3 different flavors.  Main line Religious studies for 5 of them, 2 are masters in Jewish Studies, and 2 are from Christian Theological schools, and most specifically "interreligious" in nature.

Ostensibly, as I tell it, I am wishing to explore, deepen, and enhance my ability to communicate about the idea that the Jewish liturgy would best be practiced as a visualization text.

I did discover this idea near 20 years ago, when I found the book by Rosenberg - Jewish Liturgy as a Spiritual System.

So, questions would seem to be....

• where can I learn more about this best
• from which degree "platform" and program, can I be most effective communicating about this.

And, the related questions, including

• Is there a question about whether I can "stomach" the program?
• The cost and time demands of the program
• where will I fee most satisfied
• Where is it least like mental masturbation
• Where might I be most genuinely challenged

Testing, Testing, one two three.

Seemingly, after 6 years...I've rediscovered this web space.

Can I re-adopt it, continue to use it?

Testing right now!

towards a year of study at SHN, and finding a partner in crime...

Our Jewish Community, Shirat HaNefesh, is planning a theme for the year for its members, where we work both as individuals and in pairs to grow.

Earlier in the week, I created a set of ideas and shared with our shul leadership.  Now that people are posting their ideas to our listserve, I thought I'd just make this post that had been to leadership....public...and largely unedited.  It may help to share how I've thought about this.  The note is immediately below...

----------------------

Gerry, Ramon, Andi, Nan,

Getting ready for Yom Kippur, reflecting on our community theme, I believe I’ve honed in on a likely target (though I’m flexible and can change it), and am open to advice on a match/chevruta partner.  I think this program is set up, is that I would more formally ask for this assist on Yom Kippur, and maybe you won’t have cause to reflect on this before then…but I thought I’d grease the skids with this note.  And, maybe I can identify a partner before Yom Kippur, with or without your help.

I do think…of the 3 prompts given, #3, and tefillah, or Jewish prayer, is a likely target.

I continue to reflect on this idea, and a different focus occurs to me as time progresses.

I think both keva and kavvanah are targets…i.e., developing skills with the service, and also, finding meaning in it.

Re the latter, I was reminded that Lawrence Hoffman has either a combined book, or multi-volume series that is something I and my partner could read.  Doing a fresh look, I realize that Schwartz’s Megatrends may be a new look into a similar idea that COULD be more broad based.  If a heavy effort were made, Kadish’s Kavanah is another book that could be read together.  Or all or none of these.

Also, I think appreciating and developing doors into the service….for others….so…developing pedagogy and/or learning tools for the service is an idea I have.  Possibly helping with service instruction is something I can do. This article I pulled up provides some ideas:

http://www.lookstein.org/online_journal.php?id=144

But, this morning, I further reflected that the very big questions about tefilah might well be a target.  For example, probably near 16 years ago, my wife and I decided to become active within the Jewish community, as something we would do together.  But, right now….this intention is not being fulfilled.

If my personal growth covenant were like our country’s decision to invade Syria, I should think about what my strategic intent is.  And, if our original intent is not being addressed, anything I work on that does not have the potential to feedback into that intent…may be missing the point.

Adam frequently, and sometimes Betty do complain in finding meaningful connections between what we might do during prayer, and what is meaningful to them in their lives.  Of course, social action is another avenue, but if there were ways to link the big questions concerning prayer, and the value in our participation in synagogue, with Jewish practice…that would be a good direction.

And, it may be a bridge too far.

Anyway, this is what I’m thinking.  It’s too long for the 3 lines on the yellow form.  Advice meanwhile is welcome.

I’d thought of asking Rain, and maybe she’d consider being a partner, but she probably gets enough of this in her rabbinic program.  Also, all things being equal, I have a gender preference for a man, but a best fit would trump that.

Thanks for reading.  Matchmaking suggestions are welcome.

Shana Tova,

Ira Z.

P.S.  Feel free to forward or bury as appropriate.  Some of you have your own partners to find, I know.

----------------------------

So...to Shirat HaNefesh friends, here's some more spelled out ideas from me.  Be in touch if some of this sounds cool, or alternately, if another but related direction makes sense instead.

Shana Tova,

Ira Z.

B - Options for personal development

Ideas:

Siddur study
Determining what to do with the rest of my life...a life project, with possible retirement a decade away
Getting ready to publish...possibly in Kerem
Preparing for a new Jewish Study Center class, or for Shavuot
Understanding the 3rd section of the Amidah

A - quick bringing forward, after 18 months...

Today begins Rosh Hashana for 2013.  Shirat HaNefesh has begun a new program, where we might select an area to develop into, and with a partner, for the year. This web space might be used to list some ideas.  So, I want to write here.

Seems like I should catch up a few things.

Evan has just gone off to college, to Goucher.  Adam has begun high school.

Last fall, I offered a course at the Jewish Study Center called: Nondual Judaism through Liturgy, where 3 books were used: Rosenberg, Michaelson's book on Nondual G-d, and...my friend from NY (forgetting his name) and his book, I think...Shofar and the White Conch... by Philip Richman.  (I found it by googling Vajrayana Judaism).  Phil also skyped into the second of 3 classes.  About 7 people participated.  It didn't break new ground, but the discovery of Phil's book was cool.  His approach is a bit narrow, and similar but different.

I started a 5/2 diet, with only modest results.

Maybe that's enough.  A next entry can be about ideas for exploration.

Experiments in Tachanun...

Though I've been experimenting with tachunan (the prayers said on weekdays after the Amidah), there's a few ideas I'd like to share here.

I

First, who is Tracey Rich, and why might we care.

It maybe used to more reliably be the case, but it pretty well probably still is, that when you do a search regarding a Jewish topic, you come to Tracey Rich's website, Judaism 101. It's well done, I think, broad based, fundamental in nature, and he allows that he writes from an Orthodox perspective.

I've been interested in the liturgy some good while now, and it's been a long time the case that I was introduced to the idea from this Judaism 101 website that, although traditional Judaism stresses the importance of praying in Hebrew, Rich does point out, and putting appropriately this part up front, this notwithstanding...

"The Talmud states that it is permissible to pray in any language that you can understand..."

And you can read this here yourself:

http://www.jewfaq.org/prayer.htm

Our Rabbi Gerry was kind enough to lead us recently in discussion about prayer, and movement in prayer. In the context of his comments, he seemed to have cause to point to the Talmud as a serious reference point for when we make references in our study.

So, since the Talmud does specifically give us guidance about prayer, and the need to understand the language of choice...and since most of us do not understand Hebrew...why do we continue, without challenge, to mostly use Hebrew?

Rabbi Gerri even brought forward, as though the unfortunate novelty that it was, his early practice in his career of teaching students who would not be able to understand Hebrew how they could attend an Orthodox service, and understand the whole of it, just from the English. Remarks of some surprise were made during this discussion, since our experience of doing the service primarily in anything other than Hebrew is not normative.

Anyway, I do serve on the Avodah committee for our community, and if it is game, I could challenge them to ask the question with me, why it is we do what we do. Maybe we will come up with a satisfying answer, as an alternative to just going back to what we have always been doing regardless.

I will add that I've been acting personally on the choice to read our liturgy primarily in English, and as a daily practice, for the most part. You could call that a prejudice if you like. Certainly it is me acting consistent with my beliefs.

II

Then, there is the topic of the insertion of a newly created prayer by our siddur author, Rosenstein.

In our Eit Ratzon, towards the center of our presentation of the Amidah, Rosenstein adds 2 pages, that he describes as petitionary prayer. He suggests, as I've also read suggested by another influential author to me, Rosenberg...that since the most common Jewish practice is to actually davven primarily weekly, at best, it may be reasonable to include a form of prayer, requesting those things we might experience to need, during our times of prayer, since predictably, we would not be praying during the week otherwise, when these forms of prayer are more routinely included.

For a long time, I had been moved to follow this advice. And, while doing so, I took I think no more credit for having made the choice, than I think a more knowledgeable prayer should take who would more routinely choose to skip this, based on their actual familiarity with the rhythm of the normative Amidah. I, on the other hand, had found it simply natural to read through the text from start to finish, and this included these 2 extra pages in the middle, so why not.

Things changed a bit, though once I did start to do the daily practice, saying the Amidah in that context. I found, since the exception Rosenstein described no longer applied to me...I did stop reading that 2 page insert. And yet, at the same time, a knowledge began to dawn in me that the practice I had been doing, including the additional 2 pages, was otherwise a good normative practice, for the reasons described.

This, I suppose is thing number 2 that I could suggest our Avodah committee consider. Which is, to make some sort of recommendation to our community, perhaps via the clergy, that if their practice is to include the Amidah on Saturdays or Fridays, and to not tend to include it otherwise during the week, they might consider looking closely at these 2 pages naturally presenting in the center of the Amidah, and contemplate whether they would like to include them, if they have not been doing so already.

III

And then, there is Tachunan.

The topic of tachanun came up in the context of doing, or preparing to lead meditation in our quarterly meditation working group. The focus actually was the Amidah itself, and in reviewing commentary concerning it with our group, I became interested in the special posture describe that one adopts at the end of the Amidah, in some contexts.

As I later reviewed this discussion with other member of our meditation working group, including Harvey, our Avodah leader, Harvey did help clarify some of the misconceptions I had concerning this posture, explaining that it was adopted actually after the conclusion of the Amida, and on weekdays.

I went looking for this in our editor's new daily siddur, and saw that he did present at least an abbreviated tachanun for us. And so, adventurous, I've tried adding it several times.

As I believe it is intended to be...it is very "Jewish." That is, it makes frequent reference to our practices as a Jewish people. This became in fact a potential distraction.

My thought process quickly went this way...

Look at the counterpoint of text our siddur editor sought to add at the aleinu, concerning our "heart os stone."

Continuing this thought process, I wondered if either for our community, or some other context, we might consider "penning" or rewriting, this very text, so as to be less self referential.

And, in what was probably the same thought process, I re-considered, and saw how our liturgy author actually presents tachanun in his siddur.

You will see this most easily if you can hold in your hand a copy of his daily siddur.

Immediately following the amidah, he presents in one page his abbreviated tachanun, but places it 2 pages later. But, in the 2 pages prior to it, he imputes the very same 2 pages he had previously included in the middle of the amidah. And he describes to the reader that they might well consider including this text he has authored as part of tachanun.

And, so....vwalla. The heavy lifting I had contemplated it might be helpful if we took upon ourselves...our siddur author has already seen to have taken this on. And, in the process, I find I even have an opportunity to now naturally re-engage the same text I found value in including so many shabbats with these 2 pages of author created text!

My first thought was to just include these now 3 pages immediately after the amidah, as I think the tachanun is traditionally done. But, having done this once, I believe I found that these 2 pages Rosenstein created did not perhaps most aptly serve to conclude the Amidah for me.

What had been my practice, after concluding the amidah, was to sit in simple meditation....actually....following the forms I have been shown, this style is more that of "non-meditation"....for about 5 minutes.

And, it occurred that returning to that meditation immediately following the amidah may be the better place to return to, rather than more text.

So, this morning, what I tried I thought worked pretty well. I concluded the Amidah. Sat in simple meditation for about 2 minutes, THEN read these total 3 pages in the daily siddur, comprised of the 2 page insert from the Shabbat Amidah, plus the one page abbreviated tachanun.....I then sat another 2 or so minutes...and then I concluded with Aleinu.

This..I found to be pretty good.

The whole thing adds a little time, and on a weekday, may represent a greater challenge. But, I'm optimistic about this approach, and will continue to experiment.

In that spirit, I share this notes.

L'Shalom,

Ira Zukerman