The good and the bad...(writing backwards Part III)

To the clergy, and administration, they hopefully know this story...though they may not.

For the good...there would be no story, were it not for Temple Shalom. One would suppose, if we affiliated somewhere else, some other story would have emerged. But...we have our story. A decade at the synagogue. Which we selected after a good vetting of other alternatives. It was to us a place with a heart. Once. But...back to this thread...

While waiting for my children in the parent's lounge, I casually read about a book that was to be influential to me. It was about how the liturgy could be transformative. And...I because excited. Yes...I have a particular history...of having been interested in eastern traditions. So...for many this is true. But...what one would like to see is the Temple support...in active ways...individuals who would like to engage more deeply, and purposely, in our traditions of prayer.

But, first, I received little support from anyone I would approach. Someone who would read with me and confirm the applicability of this text I discovered (Rosenberg's Liturgy as a Spiritual System is the text).

Then...clergy offered a hope. Over the years, both our Rabbis (only one is left now), the past Director of Education...offered to host a "spiritual learning contract" for members...but this did not bear fruit. Later, Rabbi F offered at our High Holiday services to call each & every member to talk with them about spirituality. Did he begin? I got no call.

You could say these are good & bad. Good because the inspiration was there...the book could be found. But...made the worse for the lack of support and follow through.

And then, finally...when my older son enters 7th grade, where the liturgy is part of the curriculum...Evan would have a chance to learn the meaning behind the words.

But...my efforts to dialogue with the teacher of 7th grade were without any fruit. And...g-d's honest truth...I did identify one session only dedicated to this topic (mostly it was on the Holocaust...also important, of course) that Evan accidentally, but had to miss.

Any sense of possible partnering action that might have been...with respect to what had blossomed over the years into an appreciation for the value of the Jewish liturgy...seemed to go untended. Despite numerous efforts on my part for it to be otherwise.

Fortunately, discoveries happened over time. In addition to Rosenberg, it's become apparent that at the Reconstructionist community, their prayer book has extensive kavvanot built in. Likewise, in the new Shirat HaNafesh, arisen from the ashes of fired clergy of Temple shalom, their Eitz Ratzon prayerbook seems to do a marvelous job...even better than Mishkan T'fillah (which itself is pretty good) of discussing the meaning along with the words.



In the transition piece developed by the couple of women whose name escapes me right now...a year before this Temple decision process...they produced an extensive report on Temple decision making. Imbedded in it included text that said that for some...it may be that the style of practice in Reform is not on the money for them.

This may apply only more or less to me. Fact is...I'm probably a more than excellent candidate for contemporary Reform practice. But...there are aspects of application that have gone missing in the pattern of practice we at Temple Shalom have adopted over effectively many years that, to my evolving understanding, has been unfortunate and unnecessary.

I have told others that our decision about affiliation at the Temple, post Labor day, was not in place. And, this remains the case. But...I have been motivated to lay out the reasons I have for substantial prejudice concerning the Temple. In substance, this blog has been a testament to this.

Writing backwards...part II

Noted below, we capture events that bring us to now...which are the straws that break the camel's back.

Add to this two circumstantial things...both of which are substantive.

1) We moved 2 years ago. Maybe now it takes us as long as it use to, to get to the Temple. But...from where we are now, we simply have more choices than we used to.

2) Also, more trivially, relatively, some things manifested in this past year that have caused grief.

a) Although I had been not only active, but a co-chair for Religious Education in recent years, in this last year, this committee has gone from active to inactive to painful.

b) Yes, in this year our son will attain Bar Mitzvah. To the good...the administration we are part of did ask its members to consider, when their children would celebrate their coming of age, to consider including everyone in their class. But...this they did not do...very frequently...with our son. Who is at fault? Not the administration, in this case. Who to blame? I will say this. We had planned to invite everyone. But...with the pattern of having been excluded from so many, we did not hold to this. Yes, it was somewhat exacerbated by Evan's own lack of motivation to ask even many of his friends to come to his own Bar Mitzvah...but we would have been less supportive of this inclination if other families were more inclusive, I am sure.

3) This last point (above, about failing to get the clergy nor faculty to help me explore liturgy in substance) is really the more important. It does remain to be seen how this issue may be different in other places, but I know how it has been here at Temple Shalom.

Writing backwards...part I

It may be helpful to note what I've come to understand.

First...for now...this is a place where I have been moved to document the issues concerning our affiliation with Temple Shalom.

In the recent months where the clergy has been turned over, I'd considered this to be a substantive problem for three identified core reasons:

a) the change represents a total loss, i.e., the net after...from our point of view...is reduced from the "net" before. In particular...first...speaking personally...I had a long standing strong bond with Rabbi Serotta. Also, our boys, and particularly Evan, our older son, had a strong affinity for him, too. The decision, moreover, to remove Rabbi Serotta mostly seemed to be consistent with the idea that...since we're making a change of the furniture...let's just change the wall paper, too, and re-do the whole thing...maybe saving some money in the process.

b) Noted below...to me...there is a real question about the authority assumed having not been theirs to assume. Though I understand how this can be seen differently, I don't think many would say this process of change was done where the board had the imprimatur of authority that everyone would agree was theirs to have.

c) Maybe difficult to say, but maybe easiest in substance to understand...this decision of change was based on making a "thing" out of discontent. It objectified and made solid the inability for individuals to get along. Three letters were sent out from the board. In the first and third, both...a "lack of peace" was described that needed to be attended to, and also, it was described that efforts at mediation were brought forward, and without success. A recent conversation with a Temple member who I knew less than casually was somewhat revealing. Perhaps it was for him that the changes were made (or rather...allowed to be made). He was inclined to grant that if we knew what the board knew, and he understood we did not...then he presumed that the decision made would have been the one he would have made (and thus, cognitive dissonance is managed). But...in fact...the board was not so secretive. They DID ...this time...decide to reveal that it was because of the lack of harmony that they made the changes they did. In doing so...they validated that the animosity between our clergy was not only real, but actionable. And...although...maybe...this is the only outcome we could ask for in a real world...I do have operational questions, about what specific consequence oriented outcomes were out clergy given. Given the outcome...I would guess none. In the previously described example with Adas Israel, we could see, with their decision to remove both clergy who fought...one might have hoped that before that, they would have at least considered telling them that that outcome would be next, before "making it so." In this case, with what worked out to be a "victor," it is not clear what consequence assigned to who would have been purposive or effective.

But...bottom line on this last point...when we have the country of Israel warring among its neighbors...how can we expect any good result from that situation, when we do not require it of the people we employ ourselves.