Although this blog had begun one way, (and for more than a year I documented my experience leaving Temple Shalom and coming to Shirat HaNefesh)...in the last 24 hours (presuming we ignore the work up to it in the last few months) the new topic has come up about experimenting with including meditation in our practices at Shirat HaNefesh, and I will now experiment with capturing here (at least many of) my contributions in this discussion. We're planning a meeting with 4 of us this Sunday, and this morning, I've sought to share my perspective with these 4 (Ramon, Marc, Debbie, and Gerry makes 5 who won't be at this particular meeting). Already, earlier today, I posted a note I'd sent to these five, and then, upon arriving at the office, I thought to share a background e-mail that was really part of this dialogue from the beginning of this month, and I added to it). So, partly for my own desire to have a central repository for these "points of order," and, as it may be helpful, for the benefit anyone else may derive from it, I'll plan to post these comments here in this blog. My idea now, since I'll be pinching from this recent set of e-mails, is to not include text from others, but rather, summarize their comments, so as to avoid ill will.
So, this recent background is now below:
Friends, please see the notes below, representing some background from my point of view as to what we're preparing to discuss on Sunday. It's a refresher for most of you, but new to you, Debbie.
1) Regarding background...IF you are willing to consider with me that meditation practice, and our practice of the liturgy could and ideally would be of "one" piece...I hope that this will modify the view of the playing field, with respect to what each of us can contribute to the discussion, and to what our common vision of what this "occasional" modification to our programming would look like. That is to say...there are some definite particular details to be concerned about, vis-a-vis introducing doing meditation. But, as a first step, I hope we might together seek agreement that this may be a multi-part course we'd have Saturday mornings, but it is one meal nonetheless.
2) Regarding getting either or both the practice or vision right...I or we could engage others. Ramon, you did mention someone at Temple Shalom, with experience in meditation. We did engage a woman to lead us at the retreat. I or we could engage some of these folks for any insight, sooner or later. Names & contact info could help me. As you'll see in # 3 below, I'd recommend we include others, and consider engaging in whatever leg work may be helpful to get this right. Certainly, to different degrees, and in different ways, Jews are practicing meditation around the country, and we could try to systematically learn more about these efforts.
3) See below, the text lifted: ".In the Talmud, we are instructed to meditate for an hour before praying, in preparation for prayer, as well as an hour after, for integration of sacred intentionality into our daily life..." Gerry, Ramon, or Marc, Debbie, if there is any additional context for this...to bring forward the authenticity that I think belongs with this work, like information about how this was practiced, years ago, and more, sources for this, this approach of looking to sources could benefit us, though as Nishmat Hayyim has probably concluded, this is not necessary.
----------------
on 7/ 1... I shared...
Marc, all,
I have been only modestly introduced to what "Jewish Meditation" might be, but I have heard of Aryeh Kaplan before, and following this e-mail, I've now read up a bit on him, and seen him on You Tube. From what I read, he does try to take a traditional approach, and definitely looks to Jewish sources.
Discussions of Jewish mysticism may be challenging for us. I think Kaplan comes from a tradition that puts meditation in the mode of both mysticism and concentration techniques. This, while possibly consistent with sources of motivation in the Jewish tradition for uses of meditation...I fear that these sources of motivation have been borne out of a desire to withdraw from the world...into another sort of place....and may be historically associated with our centuries of having been a population in peril.
If we want to continue our exploration of meditation, I can see that this can lead us in many ways. For this reason, I feel fortunate that the example that has already been given to us, from the woman who lead us in a meditation session at our retreat, is one that I feel I would be more harmonious with. She discussed "awareness" as typifying what she would identify meditation with, and while the difference is subtle, to my mind, it can be important. With awareness, rather than retreating from the world, your target is to open to it, and while there are some things that will inevitably be common to any approach to meditation....the idea of "being present," consistent with, as you say, the buddhist (or just common) notion of mindfulness, may indeed be different than trying to engage in a mental exercise...but in fairness, without becoming more aware of what Kaplan says or does not say, I shouldn't guess too much.
One community some of us may be interested in checking out a bit, I've only become aware of in recent weeks, is Nishmat Hayyim, with one of their web links here: http://www.nishmathayyim.org/news17.php . There's a fair amount there about how Jewish meditation could be understood, defined, and practiced.
I would close by saying what I've said before...again. Arriving at Shirat HaNefesh, I had not been seeking to particularly introduce or blend in meditation. I don't know for sure still that that is any kind of target, and despite my past queries, no one has yet told me who tasked us with including it in our retreat. With that said...now that it HAS been "put on our menu," I am interested in at least exploring the possibilities, sure. I do understand that: a) we have a traditional approach to practice in our community, and b) I have understood to be true what I read here: ( http://www.nishmathayyim.org/news7.php ), that: "..."...In the Talmud, we are instructed to meditate for an hour before praying, in preparation for prayer, as well as an hour after, for integration of sacred intentionality into our daily life..." and I do think that, discounting any sort of mystical approach, we could decide to simply revert to traditional strategies in our blending of meditation and liturgy as we have morning services, and that in doing so, this could become part of a more comprehensive strategy to not only make more meaningful our practice for ourselves, but as I have recently been commenting to Gerry & Ramon offline, this may be part of a realistic strategy for keeping the continuity of Jewish practice alive for my particular family constellation for some years to come as well. Or that's one theory, anyway.
-------------
and on 6/30, I shared the following with Gerry, Ramon & Marc, to which Marc replied that he thought it might be good to get a better understanding of the interplay of the buddhist conception of mindfulness, vs someone like Aryeh Kaplan's work on Jewish meditation...to paraphrase...(that actually motivated the discussion above).
This note follows my discussion today with you, Ramon, where
we discussed my interest in buddhism. I don't think we need
to be shy about the general approach of pluralism, and I am
not embarrased. I'm not trying to sell anything either.
In today's Health section of the Washington Post, an article
on cancer and mindfulness can point up some aspects in which
you are "fetching" a science of Shabbat....though no one's
drawing that analogy but me...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/29/AR2009062902623.html
Regards,
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Developing my voice...part II, later today...
So, this is the note I shared with several others in my community, just a few minutes ago...and which I make public here...
---------
Marc, (and all), there is much wisdom in how you've laid this out...and yes, we could do either (meet this Sunday or later). We could let Ramon decide, as he introduced this discussion with me today, and encouraged me to bring it forward.
If we did not meet this Sunday, or if we met...either way...I would suggest that we experiment, in much the way that Ramon and I briefly discussed it today...with identifying a Saturday (I'd suggest either August 8 or 29...at least with respect to my schedule), identifying it in advance to the community as a small experiment ...and essentially, begin working through the siddur, starting 20 minutes before we would have otherwise begun...and then at page 15, where text is suggested for a meditation, instead... present a time for a period of silent meditation, there. Have the meditation run for 20 minutes...and then continue in the siddur from where we would have left off.
I think I should take at least a moment, and make an effort to be as transparent as I can about my point of view about the introduction of meditation to Shirat HaNefesh. I feel that, unless we wish to offer a grade "B" program of meditation for our community...one that we could do better by farming it out to the Insight Meditation Society...we should regard this as an introduction of a poker chip to our members in Chevy Chase, with the intention of encouraging them to take it to Las Vegas. Another way of saying this is that the introduction of meditation...at least for many...would be intended to be the tail that wags the dog...with the dog in this case being the liturgy itself that the meditation is embedded in.
Although much of my understanding about how meditation can relate to Jewish practice is intuitive, I do feel very confident that the major function meditation CAN AND SHOULD PLAY is to highlight and accentuate...and bring appropriate focus to the liturgy, and the davvener's relationship to the liturgy, that they can have.
Otherwise, this is not Jewish practice (meditation). At best it is a parallel practice. And although there is frankly little that I can point to with respect to this strategy being adopted by other communities, and it would be experimental, I think it's a genuine path...and I hope you'll buy in with me.
Otherwise, you might like to explore meditation, anyway...and I feel value neutral about that. I would worry frankly that this may grow confusion from members about what it is, and how it fits into Jewish practice....so I do think you need some kind of conceptual framework, which our retreat didn't address to my mind.
But...and I will need to find the words, we will need to possibly negotiate to find them together, and where one person's life long dedication to the service using one "schema" may be different than another's...the main point of approaching this whole effort and undertaking, as I see it, will be to approach a vision where we are, each of us, ON a path up the mountain to Sinai, where we arrive at the summit where we say the Shema, and with an effort we would be interested in contemplating together, we would seek to share a common experience, when we davven, that is echad...one...and where the intended themes of the liturgy are broadly available to each of us who pray together....enhanced in the modest way that they can be with a period of meditation, designed to help make authentic that which might otherwise not be.
---------
Marc, (and all), there is much wisdom in how you've laid this out...and yes, we could do either (meet this Sunday or later). We could let Ramon decide, as he introduced this discussion with me today, and encouraged me to bring it forward.
If we did not meet this Sunday, or if we met...either way...I would suggest that we experiment, in much the way that Ramon and I briefly discussed it today...with identifying a Saturday (I'd suggest either August 8 or 29...at least with respect to my schedule), identifying it in advance to the community as a small experiment ...and essentially, begin working through the siddur, starting 20 minutes before we would have otherwise begun...and then at page 15, where text is suggested for a meditation, instead... present a time for a period of silent meditation, there. Have the meditation run for 20 minutes...and then continue in the siddur from where we would have left off.
I think I should take at least a moment, and make an effort to be as transparent as I can about my point of view about the introduction of meditation to Shirat HaNefesh. I feel that, unless we wish to offer a grade "B" program of meditation for our community...one that we could do better by farming it out to the Insight Meditation Society...we should regard this as an introduction of a poker chip to our members in Chevy Chase, with the intention of encouraging them to take it to Las Vegas. Another way of saying this is that the introduction of meditation...at least for many...would be intended to be the tail that wags the dog...with the dog in this case being the liturgy itself that the meditation is embedded in.
Although much of my understanding about how meditation can relate to Jewish practice is intuitive, I do feel very confident that the major function meditation CAN AND SHOULD PLAY is to highlight and accentuate...and bring appropriate focus to the liturgy, and the davvener's relationship to the liturgy, that they can have.
Otherwise, this is not Jewish practice (meditation). At best it is a parallel practice. And although there is frankly little that I can point to with respect to this strategy being adopted by other communities, and it would be experimental, I think it's a genuine path...and I hope you'll buy in with me.
Otherwise, you might like to explore meditation, anyway...and I feel value neutral about that. I would worry frankly that this may grow confusion from members about what it is, and how it fits into Jewish practice....so I do think you need some kind of conceptual framework, which our retreat didn't address to my mind.
But...and I will need to find the words, we will need to possibly negotiate to find them together, and where one person's life long dedication to the service using one "schema" may be different than another's...the main point of approaching this whole effort and undertaking, as I see it, will be to approach a vision where we are, each of us, ON a path up the mountain to Sinai, where we arrive at the summit where we say the Shema, and with an effort we would be interested in contemplating together, we would seek to share a common experience, when we davven, that is echad...one...and where the intended themes of the liturgy are broadly available to each of us who pray together....enhanced in the modest way that they can be with a period of meditation, designed to help make authentic that which might otherwise not be.
Developing my voice...part I, today...
Why did I join Shirat HaNefesh?
Or...what are my greatest hopes for me and my family's involvement in Judaism?
And...is there a place for me to realize these hopes at Shirat HaNefesh...this new community.
I can hope.
Today, the day began in a somewhat ordinary way. Or...dial that back 24 hours. I received a message from i-Worship, alerting me to discussion about the fact that reform communities were discussing the merits of blowing or not blowing the shofar on Rosh HaShana. I shared that with our Avodah committee chairpeople and clergy.
Then, later, Ramon asked me if I might assist with introducing meditation to Shirat HaNefesh in one or two contexts.
Meditation had already been introduced at our retreat in June, as a "stand-alone" practice. I provided some objections at the time, because I thought the presentation lacked context. But, if there was a greater scheme that could be had, maybe this would be a part of that.
Personally, such that I engage in it, I do have meditation practice. There may be some benefit to having a back door through which my family might connect to meditation while going to synagogue, but this plan does not have "long term" legs.
But...I have seen that the Jewish Liturgy has its own good message, opportunity to engage, and vision.
And more....through a coincidence of factors....in my family's having volunteered to provide the kiddush in connection with Evan's birthday last weekend, and when the whole family went down to SHN for services, I suggested with new curiosity to Betty....would she be interested in using the appendix to Rosenberg during the service? After brief discussion, she was interested...and thank goodness...upon arriving....they had actually found the indexed version of the siddur I had put together, and left there. So...she was actually able to refer to the appendix, with page by page references in the siddur itself.
What did Betty say after the service was over....that that 19 page document really helped her. Who would have guessed? I suppose I hoped. But would I have betted on it....no. But, it worked. The service is comprehendable...but not without a guide. And...the guide...while only a start (Betty actually helped me with this, too, introducing the concept of "overlearning" and applying it to this)...is a start, at least.
So, today, having been asked to help with crafting a meditation session for SHN, it's suggested a meeting might take place, for an hour, and several of us are now seeing about how and whether that should happen....and as the discussion comes forward, I do determine that, if others have not heard it from me, I would like them to hear my point of view...I would like to become transparent, if I had not been, with respect to some of my desires with respect to how we could benefit from meditation, and what "best practices" benefit I think it could play in our community.
I also thought this blog space could be a place to place some of these ideas. Above these notes, I'll paste the text I did share with several in our community a few minutes ago, describing to them how I saw that we might proceed. Depending, this blog space could serve as a useful place to expand some of these ideas, but we'll see...and start here.
Or...what are my greatest hopes for me and my family's involvement in Judaism?
And...is there a place for me to realize these hopes at Shirat HaNefesh...this new community.
I can hope.
Today, the day began in a somewhat ordinary way. Or...dial that back 24 hours. I received a message from i-Worship, alerting me to discussion about the fact that reform communities were discussing the merits of blowing or not blowing the shofar on Rosh HaShana. I shared that with our Avodah committee chairpeople and clergy.
Then, later, Ramon asked me if I might assist with introducing meditation to Shirat HaNefesh in one or two contexts.
Meditation had already been introduced at our retreat in June, as a "stand-alone" practice. I provided some objections at the time, because I thought the presentation lacked context. But, if there was a greater scheme that could be had, maybe this would be a part of that.
Personally, such that I engage in it, I do have meditation practice. There may be some benefit to having a back door through which my family might connect to meditation while going to synagogue, but this plan does not have "long term" legs.
But...I have seen that the Jewish Liturgy has its own good message, opportunity to engage, and vision.
And more....through a coincidence of factors....in my family's having volunteered to provide the kiddush in connection with Evan's birthday last weekend, and when the whole family went down to SHN for services, I suggested with new curiosity to Betty....would she be interested in using the appendix to Rosenberg during the service? After brief discussion, she was interested...and thank goodness...upon arriving....they had actually found the indexed version of the siddur I had put together, and left there. So...she was actually able to refer to the appendix, with page by page references in the siddur itself.
What did Betty say after the service was over....that that 19 page document really helped her. Who would have guessed? I suppose I hoped. But would I have betted on it....no. But, it worked. The service is comprehendable...but not without a guide. And...the guide...while only a start (Betty actually helped me with this, too, introducing the concept of "overlearning" and applying it to this)...is a start, at least.
So, today, having been asked to help with crafting a meditation session for SHN, it's suggested a meeting might take place, for an hour, and several of us are now seeing about how and whether that should happen....and as the discussion comes forward, I do determine that, if others have not heard it from me, I would like them to hear my point of view...I would like to become transparent, if I had not been, with respect to some of my desires with respect to how we could benefit from meditation, and what "best practices" benefit I think it could play in our community.
I also thought this blog space could be a place to place some of these ideas. Above these notes, I'll paste the text I did share with several in our community a few minutes ago, describing to them how I saw that we might proceed. Depending, this blog space could serve as a useful place to expand some of these ideas, but we'll see...and start here.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Engaging a new platform....
Well...it's been 8 months since we've joined Shirat HaNefesh. I think I feel pretty good about being here. It's a special place. I initiated this text during Passover (though am posting it later). Partly, I'm reflecting now because our board has produced a poster that we could share with friends, telling them to join us. Further, I brought this blog to the attention of a friend, and recently he's asked me when I would update it...so this is further time. Overall, with respect to Shirat HaNefesh (SHN), I'm caused to reflect on whether I'd recommend this place or not...
Because we're small, at least, I'm pretty involved. I'm a memberof the Tikkun Olam committee, Education Committee (possibly just also became co-chair of that), and more recently, I'm an Avodah Committee member. Most recently, I volunteered to be on our Nominating Committee, to select replacement board members. I initiated this text during Passover, but we're really in the thick of this process now.l
Passover is always a special time otherwise. I enjoy preparing by considering what Hagaddah to use. I had been curious to see what Temple Shalom was scheduling for their community to recognize the holiday. This seems like a good place to note that in leaving Temple Shalom, we wrote to the principle folks in the administration there...the Rabbi, President, Treasurer, explaining what we were doing (leaving) and some of how we would like to do it...that is hoping the community would feel all right about not closing this door to us especially since Evan would continue to be invited to his friend's Bar Mitzvahs for a time. I offered, consistent with this, to continue to pay on the last year of our 5 year pledge to support the capital fund we had committed to 4 years earlier. And further, I offered also to pay an additional incremental amount to keep getting the monthly Shofar newsletter.
But when signing off that way, back then, Rabbi F was quick to both positively comment about my willingness to honor my commitment, and also share that creative thinking would have to be engaged by the Temple Treasurer to accomplish my request, since he knew of no system whereby a non-member could engage in this way, i.e., be billed monthly for payments to a building fund.
Apparently no such creative effort was mounted. The synagogue didn't need my money enough to figure out a way to capture it, nor did the Shofar arrive.
But, I could go to their web site. I saw nothing remarkable about Passover, however, I did see that -- during Sunday school, the previous week Rabbi F had offered a session dedicated to understanding the liturgy, and it included a discussion of Mindfullness in the heading. I wrote to Michael to ask him about his session, which would have just happened, and to inquire about what success he had with it. I did not hear back from him.
Let's continue forward. Today it is early May 5th. For Passover, I did select as a Haggadah the text created by the Velveteen Rabbi, and I was very pleased with it. We did our usual family Passover, first night at our house with Chinese food, but just us (that was a disappointment...we like to have the boys cousin and their Aunt/Betty's Sister over, but it wouldn't work out this year). The second night, we went to Bubby's.
Now, we're in the thick of this nominating process. Like with any organization, there are administrative details, and I'm not necessarily fun to engage with on such things in any organization, so why should it be any different here? This Wednesday, we'll meet as a committee for a 3rd time, and may pick our new members, in substance. Then, this Sunday, our Avodah Committee will meet for its 4th time, to discuss not only the hours of service, but also, to consider, and grapple with...what does it mean to make a minyan. At the end of this month, we will have our very first retreat.
We'll need to see how the summer looks. Our programming is such that it is easy to go to services. Saturday morning is when we have "Saturday" school for Adam, and that's when I go to services. Friday has always been hard to get to, and it continues to be...but we do commit to going to the 4th Friday night, because that's when we both have a Pot Luck, and also, when our family collects the food gathered, and brings it to Manna. Possibly...the summer will simply have other activities we'll engage in, and this will help make for our pattern of connection with our community. Some things may remain the same this way, as they had been with Temple Shalom.
At Temple Shalom, as documented earlier in this blog, I had struggled to find meaning in working with the text of the liturgy. This struggle continues. This connection is not profoundly different from now, than it was before.
What anyone might ask of themselves, I suppose, is how they find themselves engaged in their synagogue community. Well...they might ask themselves many things, of which this is one aspect. I do find that there is grist for the mill. Given the nature, and depth of connection that I had with the clergy, that included Gerry particularly, at Temple Shalom, it was too much of a wrenching without background for me for there to have been any easy landing pad to continue at the Temple, given the changes that happened in the summer of 08. As documented here, we did look at other alternatives last summer. Given a combination of things, including the selection of a siddur that features an attempt to "speak itself," and provide meaning, an opportunity to continue our relationship with clergy that we not only had a connection with, but who we thought represented a good example for our selves and our children, and further...given the continuity that this choice represented for our family, we did make this our home, and this place is further becoming for us.
For those who may be reading this, who have not had a chance to visit Shirat HaNefesh, and who may wish to do so...I hope you will feel welcome to do this. We do mostly meet at the school across from the Parkway Deli. At least...at this time. It is possible we will move, too, this summer, so stay tuned.
Atmospherically, practically, SHN is a special place. Hopefully...it will not be a Brigadoon. We do not have a building. It could be wistful this way. We are a bit like sukkot...surviving in temporary shelter. Presuming we have a long life, these years will be seen for what they are in our life cycle...tender and really precious years. The community is diverse....and consistent with this, self defined as pluralistic. Folks who davven with us are from reform and conservative backgrounds. The service is in fact pretty traditional, and for some, I do see this is a challenge.
We are evolving. And, with respect to this blog, for now, it remains about this spiritual Jewish Journey that I and my family are engaged with. We'll continue to see how it goes...
Because we're small, at least, I'm pretty involved. I'm a memberof the Tikkun Olam committee, Education Committee (possibly just also became co-chair of that), and more recently, I'm an Avodah Committee member. Most recently, I volunteered to be on our Nominating Committee, to select replacement board members. I initiated this text during Passover, but we're really in the thick of this process now.l
Passover is always a special time otherwise. I enjoy preparing by considering what Hagaddah to use. I had been curious to see what Temple Shalom was scheduling for their community to recognize the holiday. This seems like a good place to note that in leaving Temple Shalom, we wrote to the principle folks in the administration there...the Rabbi, President, Treasurer, explaining what we were doing (leaving) and some of how we would like to do it...that is hoping the community would feel all right about not closing this door to us especially since Evan would continue to be invited to his friend's Bar Mitzvahs for a time. I offered, consistent with this, to continue to pay on the last year of our 5 year pledge to support the capital fund we had committed to 4 years earlier. And further, I offered also to pay an additional incremental amount to keep getting the monthly Shofar newsletter.
But when signing off that way, back then, Rabbi F was quick to both positively comment about my willingness to honor my commitment, and also share that creative thinking would have to be engaged by the Temple Treasurer to accomplish my request, since he knew of no system whereby a non-member could engage in this way, i.e., be billed monthly for payments to a building fund.
Apparently no such creative effort was mounted. The synagogue didn't need my money enough to figure out a way to capture it, nor did the Shofar arrive.
But, I could go to their web site. I saw nothing remarkable about Passover, however, I did see that -- during Sunday school, the previous week Rabbi F had offered a session dedicated to understanding the liturgy, and it included a discussion of Mindfullness in the heading. I wrote to Michael to ask him about his session, which would have just happened, and to inquire about what success he had with it. I did not hear back from him.
Let's continue forward. Today it is early May 5th. For Passover, I did select as a Haggadah the text created by the Velveteen Rabbi, and I was very pleased with it. We did our usual family Passover, first night at our house with Chinese food, but just us (that was a disappointment...we like to have the boys cousin and their Aunt/Betty's Sister over, but it wouldn't work out this year). The second night, we went to Bubby's.
Now, we're in the thick of this nominating process. Like with any organization, there are administrative details, and I'm not necessarily fun to engage with on such things in any organization, so why should it be any different here? This Wednesday, we'll meet as a committee for a 3rd time, and may pick our new members, in substance. Then, this Sunday, our Avodah Committee will meet for its 4th time, to discuss not only the hours of service, but also, to consider, and grapple with...what does it mean to make a minyan. At the end of this month, we will have our very first retreat.
We'll need to see how the summer looks. Our programming is such that it is easy to go to services. Saturday morning is when we have "Saturday" school for Adam, and that's when I go to services. Friday has always been hard to get to, and it continues to be...but we do commit to going to the 4th Friday night, because that's when we both have a Pot Luck, and also, when our family collects the food gathered, and brings it to Manna. Possibly...the summer will simply have other activities we'll engage in, and this will help make for our pattern of connection with our community. Some things may remain the same this way, as they had been with Temple Shalom.
At Temple Shalom, as documented earlier in this blog, I had struggled to find meaning in working with the text of the liturgy. This struggle continues. This connection is not profoundly different from now, than it was before.
What anyone might ask of themselves, I suppose, is how they find themselves engaged in their synagogue community. Well...they might ask themselves many things, of which this is one aspect. I do find that there is grist for the mill. Given the nature, and depth of connection that I had with the clergy, that included Gerry particularly, at Temple Shalom, it was too much of a wrenching without background for me for there to have been any easy landing pad to continue at the Temple, given the changes that happened in the summer of 08. As documented here, we did look at other alternatives last summer. Given a combination of things, including the selection of a siddur that features an attempt to "speak itself," and provide meaning, an opportunity to continue our relationship with clergy that we not only had a connection with, but who we thought represented a good example for our selves and our children, and further...given the continuity that this choice represented for our family, we did make this our home, and this place is further becoming for us.
For those who may be reading this, who have not had a chance to visit Shirat HaNefesh, and who may wish to do so...I hope you will feel welcome to do this. We do mostly meet at the school across from the Parkway Deli. At least...at this time. It is possible we will move, too, this summer, so stay tuned.
Atmospherically, practically, SHN is a special place. Hopefully...it will not be a Brigadoon. We do not have a building. It could be wistful this way. We are a bit like sukkot...surviving in temporary shelter. Presuming we have a long life, these years will be seen for what they are in our life cycle...tender and really precious years. The community is diverse....and consistent with this, self defined as pluralistic. Folks who davven with us are from reform and conservative backgrounds. The service is in fact pretty traditional, and for some, I do see this is a challenge.
We are evolving. And, with respect to this blog, for now, it remains about this spiritual Jewish Journey that I and my family are engaged with. We'll continue to see how it goes...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Collaboration, Empowerment, and an Invitation...
Today, we did let Temple Shalom know we were leaving.
I figured...we would be letting them know today, one way or another, since if we didn't show up for what would need to be Adam's Hebrew School, we would be letting them know anyway...and I did prefer for our communication about this to be articulated, rather than assumptive.
It took awhile. I did come up with a "conceptual piece," that said...I would like our view to be one of where we are like living in a big house, with lots of rooms, with doors that could be closed...but where we would not be motivated to close these doors. And, we hoped the Temple, neither, would feel the need to close the doors. This would particularly be true, inasmuch as Evan will be going to at least a couple of named Bar Mitzvahs, and we would need to negotiate that, anyway.
I was happy Betty agreed this approach was good. But...we did not agree on a closing for the letter we would send....where we gave sort of a "parting message." So...by way of collaboration...we simply left that part out. I think it worked.
On the way to figuring this letter out, I was reminded, in reviewing options for a meaningful closing with Betty, that "empowerment" was an important idea...that I and we both agreed was not a point that the Temple sought to make a target for its community...that we could address.
Actually...reflecting on the meeting of 13 months ago at the Temple...the meeting labeled the "vision" meeting...where I was apparently somewhat clueless as to the possible pragmatic intentions of the meeting...despite those people who were much more in tune with the reality of this meeting...people like Dan Spiro...who really nailed both the strategic purpose (Debbie Kopp knew this well too...and possibly 1/2 the congregation) and the appropriate intended message to send...despite the fact that I was clueless then...the message I did get up to say then is the message I would say again now. Seek to empower..."giving away Judaism," continue to support the expressed message of providing spirituality as a target of support for the congregation...and also...I think my 3rd point is that please somebody teach my older son the meaning of the liturgy. For G-d's sake...to this day, I had felt frustrated for my failure at my efforts to get the explicit cooperation of anyone at the Temple...whether the senior Rabbi, his assigned teacher who would ostensibly be responsible, in his 7th grade, where this was to be fully part of the curriculum, nor anyone really...to engage in even a modest discussion with me (let alone him) about this topic. Yes...I was frustrated. To stay would be like to say it was really Ok if I just continued to shoot myself in the head...they loved me there, they want my business. Nevermind that they will not cooperate with me in even talking with me...having a conversation about what a reasonable person could think was fundamental about their association with a place of worship.
Back to closing comments on empowerment...having the clergy be reminded that it is their responsibility...to remind the congregation that their Judaism is their responsibility....well...maybe this is a difficult thing to do...but it is an important one.
And, a final note...as a new, now, card carrying member of Shirat HaNefesh...I may even be able to use this space to offer an invitation to the reader who ventures here...to our High Holiday Services.
I have a link that seems to work, that should take you there. (Or just call me or whatever...if you want the detail). Heidi reminded me I could invite my friends. I could. I do that here. See the link, immediately below...which seems to do the job:
http://shirathanefesh.org/forms/HHDTicketRequestForm.pdf
I figured...we would be letting them know today, one way or another, since if we didn't show up for what would need to be Adam's Hebrew School, we would be letting them know anyway...and I did prefer for our communication about this to be articulated, rather than assumptive.
It took awhile. I did come up with a "conceptual piece," that said...I would like our view to be one of where we are like living in a big house, with lots of rooms, with doors that could be closed...but where we would not be motivated to close these doors. And, we hoped the Temple, neither, would feel the need to close the doors. This would particularly be true, inasmuch as Evan will be going to at least a couple of named Bar Mitzvahs, and we would need to negotiate that, anyway.
I was happy Betty agreed this approach was good. But...we did not agree on a closing for the letter we would send....where we gave sort of a "parting message." So...by way of collaboration...we simply left that part out. I think it worked.
On the way to figuring this letter out, I was reminded, in reviewing options for a meaningful closing with Betty, that "empowerment" was an important idea...that I and we both agreed was not a point that the Temple sought to make a target for its community...that we could address.
Actually...reflecting on the meeting of 13 months ago at the Temple...the meeting labeled the "vision" meeting...where I was apparently somewhat clueless as to the possible pragmatic intentions of the meeting...despite those people who were much more in tune with the reality of this meeting...people like Dan Spiro...who really nailed both the strategic purpose (Debbie Kopp knew this well too...and possibly 1/2 the congregation) and the appropriate intended message to send...despite the fact that I was clueless then...the message I did get up to say then is the message I would say again now. Seek to empower..."giving away Judaism," continue to support the expressed message of providing spirituality as a target of support for the congregation...and also...I think my 3rd point is that please somebody teach my older son the meaning of the liturgy. For G-d's sake...to this day, I had felt frustrated for my failure at my efforts to get the explicit cooperation of anyone at the Temple...whether the senior Rabbi, his assigned teacher who would ostensibly be responsible, in his 7th grade, where this was to be fully part of the curriculum, nor anyone really...to engage in even a modest discussion with me (let alone him) about this topic. Yes...I was frustrated. To stay would be like to say it was really Ok if I just continued to shoot myself in the head...they loved me there, they want my business. Nevermind that they will not cooperate with me in even talking with me...having a conversation about what a reasonable person could think was fundamental about their association with a place of worship.
Back to closing comments on empowerment...having the clergy be reminded that it is their responsibility...to remind the congregation that their Judaism is their responsibility....well...maybe this is a difficult thing to do...but it is an important one.
And, a final note...as a new, now, card carrying member of Shirat HaNefesh...I may even be able to use this space to offer an invitation to the reader who ventures here...to our High Holiday Services.
I have a link that seems to work, that should take you there. (Or just call me or whatever...if you want the detail). Heidi reminded me I could invite my friends. I could. I do that here. See the link, immediately below...which seems to do the job:
http://shirathanefesh.org/forms/HHDTicketRequestForm.pdf
Monday, September 1, 2008
Doing bad vs being bad...
Three thoughts today...
Our older son, Evan, has just celebrated his Bar Mitzvah this past weekend. We are so proud, he worked very hard, it showed, and he did really so well.
A) Relatedly...as we transitioned from elementary school grades for Evan two years ago, we transitioned, likewise to Middle School. In contemplating doing that, we also decided to physically move from Silver Spring to Bethesda...largely to optimize on the schools available to both children, and also, to take advantage of a GTLD program that would be uniquely available to him in this cluster we moved to.
In the process of moving...we never figured out how to tell friends what we were doing...and we...as long as we could...did want to leave our options open as well. We would first remodel the house...to make it more saleable...but also for our benefit. We would put the house on the market, declutter in the process...and if it didn't work out, we would stay. Along the way, while intending to move, while wanting to keep our options open, we did not have an easy time telling our local friends we planned to move on.
So...and especially as Evan worked to complete his Bar Mitzvah...even though we had been as public as we knew how...telling both the President of Temple Shalom, and on the heels of that, the rabbi, that indeed we were now "shopping," once we heard that they had not renewed the contract of Rabbi Serotta and Cantor Tasat...we have even not, among ourselves, decided for a certainly we would leave the Temple.
This morning, we have pretty much used these words, though. Betty has filled out forms. We are I think content to send in the forms. We've discussed it with our family. Even still...next week I will go to the Temple to pick up food from the Temple and deliver it to SOME. Who needs to be in a rush to say...and by the way...we are leaving. We are not in a rush to deliver this message. But it seems now we have decided to move on...and we think we will join the new Havurah, Shirat HaNefesh.
B) In responses to others in this blog, I found myself to use the word: "corrupt" I think it is worth looking at more closely. Using the Webster web dictionary, it brings forward:
"to change from good to bad in morals, manners, or actions; also :..... b: to degrade with unsound principles or moral values"
When reviewing the problems we experienced with Temple Shalom, we did, in connection with what I think bears on the represented meaning of "corrupt," review an important distinction. To my mind, it has something to do with what I think of as perhaps evangelical Christian mores...but I do think it helps better to understand the circumstances here...
C) I thought to explain to our boys Evan and Adam that the people at Temple Shalom were not bad, but their actions were. Notes written earlier in this blog do explicate this point. So...we would not blame the person...but instead, what they did.
People can change.
Unfortunately, as reviewed previously...although mistakes have been referenced by the Temple Administration, I do not think they apply to the same ones that I think did occur. So...longer term...we'll see what kind of learning really might have happened, if any did at all...that everyone can benefit from.
Final notes...we do not want to burn bridges. Who would? Fact is...Temple Shalom has done enormous good, and it continues to do this. For all we know...we may wish to be able to be a part of this institution in the future.
But...with the new school year just about to start, and with our needing to make a choice, and our being able to do so...we are voting with our feet. It seems we are doing that now.
Our older son, Evan, has just celebrated his Bar Mitzvah this past weekend. We are so proud, he worked very hard, it showed, and he did really so well.
A) Relatedly...as we transitioned from elementary school grades for Evan two years ago, we transitioned, likewise to Middle School. In contemplating doing that, we also decided to physically move from Silver Spring to Bethesda...largely to optimize on the schools available to both children, and also, to take advantage of a GTLD program that would be uniquely available to him in this cluster we moved to.
In the process of moving...we never figured out how to tell friends what we were doing...and we...as long as we could...did want to leave our options open as well. We would first remodel the house...to make it more saleable...but also for our benefit. We would put the house on the market, declutter in the process...and if it didn't work out, we would stay. Along the way, while intending to move, while wanting to keep our options open, we did not have an easy time telling our local friends we planned to move on.
So...and especially as Evan worked to complete his Bar Mitzvah...even though we had been as public as we knew how...telling both the President of Temple Shalom, and on the heels of that, the rabbi, that indeed we were now "shopping," once we heard that they had not renewed the contract of Rabbi Serotta and Cantor Tasat...we have even not, among ourselves, decided for a certainly we would leave the Temple.
This morning, we have pretty much used these words, though. Betty has filled out forms. We are I think content to send in the forms. We've discussed it with our family. Even still...next week I will go to the Temple to pick up food from the Temple and deliver it to SOME. Who needs to be in a rush to say...and by the way...we are leaving. We are not in a rush to deliver this message. But it seems now we have decided to move on...and we think we will join the new Havurah, Shirat HaNefesh.
B) In responses to others in this blog, I found myself to use the word: "corrupt" I think it is worth looking at more closely. Using the Webster web dictionary, it brings forward:
"to change from good to bad in morals, manners, or actions; also :..... b: to degrade with unsound principles or moral values"
When reviewing the problems we experienced with Temple Shalom, we did, in connection with what I think bears on the represented meaning of "corrupt," review an important distinction. To my mind, it has something to do with what I think of as perhaps evangelical Christian mores...but I do think it helps better to understand the circumstances here...
C) I thought to explain to our boys Evan and Adam that the people at Temple Shalom were not bad, but their actions were. Notes written earlier in this blog do explicate this point. So...we would not blame the person...but instead, what they did.
People can change.
Unfortunately, as reviewed previously...although mistakes have been referenced by the Temple Administration, I do not think they apply to the same ones that I think did occur. So...longer term...we'll see what kind of learning really might have happened, if any did at all...that everyone can benefit from.
Final notes...we do not want to burn bridges. Who would? Fact is...Temple Shalom has done enormous good, and it continues to do this. For all we know...we may wish to be able to be a part of this institution in the future.
But...with the new school year just about to start, and with our needing to make a choice, and our being able to do so...we are voting with our feet. It seems we are doing that now.
Monday, August 4, 2008
The good and the bad...(writing backwards Part III)
To the clergy, and administration, they hopefully know this story...though they may not.
For the good...there would be no story, were it not for Temple Shalom. One would suppose, if we affiliated somewhere else, some other story would have emerged. But...we have our story. A decade at the synagogue. Which we selected after a good vetting of other alternatives. It was to us a place with a heart. Once. But...back to this thread...
While waiting for my children in the parent's lounge, I casually read about a book that was to be influential to me. It was about how the liturgy could be transformative. And...I because excited. Yes...I have a particular history...of having been interested in eastern traditions. So...for many this is true. But...what one would like to see is the Temple support...in active ways...individuals who would like to engage more deeply, and purposely, in our traditions of prayer.
But, first, I received little support from anyone I would approach. Someone who would read with me and confirm the applicability of this text I discovered (Rosenberg's Liturgy as a Spiritual System is the text).
Then...clergy offered a hope. Over the years, both our Rabbis (only one is left now), the past Director of Education...offered to host a "spiritual learning contract" for members...but this did not bear fruit. Later, Rabbi F offered at our High Holiday services to call each & every member to talk with them about spirituality. Did he begin? I got no call.
You could say these are good & bad. Good because the inspiration was there...the book could be found. But...made the worse for the lack of support and follow through.
And then, finally...when my older son enters 7th grade, where the liturgy is part of the curriculum...Evan would have a chance to learn the meaning behind the words.
But...my efforts to dialogue with the teacher of 7th grade were without any fruit. And...g-d's honest truth...I did identify one session only dedicated to this topic (mostly it was on the Holocaust...also important, of course) that Evan accidentally, but had to miss.
Any sense of possible partnering action that might have been...with respect to what had blossomed over the years into an appreciation for the value of the Jewish liturgy...seemed to go untended. Despite numerous efforts on my part for it to be otherwise.
Fortunately, discoveries happened over time. In addition to Rosenberg, it's become apparent that at the Reconstructionist community, their prayer book has extensive kavvanot built in. Likewise, in the new Shirat HaNafesh, arisen from the ashes of fired clergy of Temple shalom, their Eitz Ratzon prayerbook seems to do a marvelous job...even better than Mishkan T'fillah (which itself is pretty good) of discussing the meaning along with the words.
In the transition piece developed by the couple of women whose name escapes me right now...a year before this Temple decision process...they produced an extensive report on Temple decision making. Imbedded in it included text that said that for some...it may be that the style of practice in Reform is not on the money for them.
This may apply only more or less to me. Fact is...I'm probably a more than excellent candidate for contemporary Reform practice. But...there are aspects of application that have gone missing in the pattern of practice we at Temple Shalom have adopted over effectively many years that, to my evolving understanding, has been unfortunate and unnecessary.
I have told others that our decision about affiliation at the Temple, post Labor day, was not in place. And, this remains the case. But...I have been motivated to lay out the reasons I have for substantial prejudice concerning the Temple. In substance, this blog has been a testament to this.
For the good...there would be no story, were it not for Temple Shalom. One would suppose, if we affiliated somewhere else, some other story would have emerged. But...we have our story. A decade at the synagogue. Which we selected after a good vetting of other alternatives. It was to us a place with a heart. Once. But...back to this thread...
While waiting for my children in the parent's lounge, I casually read about a book that was to be influential to me. It was about how the liturgy could be transformative. And...I because excited. Yes...I have a particular history...of having been interested in eastern traditions. So...for many this is true. But...what one would like to see is the Temple support...in active ways...individuals who would like to engage more deeply, and purposely, in our traditions of prayer.
But, first, I received little support from anyone I would approach. Someone who would read with me and confirm the applicability of this text I discovered (Rosenberg's Liturgy as a Spiritual System is the text).
Then...clergy offered a hope. Over the years, both our Rabbis (only one is left now), the past Director of Education...offered to host a "spiritual learning contract" for members...but this did not bear fruit. Later, Rabbi F offered at our High Holiday services to call each & every member to talk with them about spirituality. Did he begin? I got no call.
You could say these are good & bad. Good because the inspiration was there...the book could be found. But...made the worse for the lack of support and follow through.
And then, finally...when my older son enters 7th grade, where the liturgy is part of the curriculum...Evan would have a chance to learn the meaning behind the words.
But...my efforts to dialogue with the teacher of 7th grade were without any fruit. And...g-d's honest truth...I did identify one session only dedicated to this topic (mostly it was on the Holocaust...also important, of course) that Evan accidentally, but had to miss.
Any sense of possible partnering action that might have been...with respect to what had blossomed over the years into an appreciation for the value of the Jewish liturgy...seemed to go untended. Despite numerous efforts on my part for it to be otherwise.
Fortunately, discoveries happened over time. In addition to Rosenberg, it's become apparent that at the Reconstructionist community, their prayer book has extensive kavvanot built in. Likewise, in the new Shirat HaNafesh, arisen from the ashes of fired clergy of Temple shalom, their Eitz Ratzon prayerbook seems to do a marvelous job...even better than Mishkan T'fillah (which itself is pretty good) of discussing the meaning along with the words.
In the transition piece developed by the couple of women whose name escapes me right now...a year before this Temple decision process...they produced an extensive report on Temple decision making. Imbedded in it included text that said that for some...it may be that the style of practice in Reform is not on the money for them.
This may apply only more or less to me. Fact is...I'm probably a more than excellent candidate for contemporary Reform practice. But...there are aspects of application that have gone missing in the pattern of practice we at Temple Shalom have adopted over effectively many years that, to my evolving understanding, has been unfortunate and unnecessary.
I have told others that our decision about affiliation at the Temple, post Labor day, was not in place. And, this remains the case. But...I have been motivated to lay out the reasons I have for substantial prejudice concerning the Temple. In substance, this blog has been a testament to this.
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