Doing bad vs being bad...

Three thoughts today...

Our older son, Evan, has just celebrated his Bar Mitzvah this past weekend. We are so proud, he worked very hard, it showed, and he did really so well.

A) Relatedly...as we transitioned from elementary school grades for Evan two years ago, we transitioned, likewise to Middle School. In contemplating doing that, we also decided to physically move from Silver Spring to Bethesda...largely to optimize on the schools available to both children, and also, to take advantage of a GTLD program that would be uniquely available to him in this cluster we moved to.

In the process of moving...we never figured out how to tell friends what we were doing...and we...as long as we could...did want to leave our options open as well. We would first remodel the house...to make it more saleable...but also for our benefit. We would put the house on the market, declutter in the process...and if it didn't work out, we would stay. Along the way, while intending to move, while wanting to keep our options open, we did not have an easy time telling our local friends we planned to move on.

So...and especially as Evan worked to complete his Bar Mitzvah...even though we had been as public as we knew how...telling both the President of Temple Shalom, and on the heels of that, the rabbi, that indeed we were now "shopping," once we heard that they had not renewed the contract of Rabbi Serotta and Cantor Tasat...we have even not, among ourselves, decided for a certainly we would leave the Temple.

This morning, we have pretty much used these words, though. Betty has filled out forms. We are I think content to send in the forms. We've discussed it with our family. Even still...next week I will go to the Temple to pick up food from the Temple and deliver it to SOME. Who needs to be in a rush to say...and by the way...we are leaving. We are not in a rush to deliver this message. But it seems now we have decided to move on...and we think we will join the new Havurah, Shirat HaNefesh.

B) In responses to others in this blog, I found myself to use the word: "corrupt" I think it is worth looking at more closely. Using the Webster web dictionary, it brings forward:

"to change from good to bad in morals, manners, or actions; also :..... b: to degrade with unsound principles or moral values"

When reviewing the problems we experienced with Temple Shalom, we did, in connection with what I think bears on the represented meaning of "corrupt," review an important distinction. To my mind, it has something to do with what I think of as perhaps evangelical Christian mores...but I do think it helps better to understand the circumstances here...

C) I thought to explain to our boys Evan and Adam that the people at Temple Shalom were not bad, but their actions were. Notes written earlier in this blog do explicate this point. So...we would not blame the person...but instead, what they did.

People can change.

Unfortunately, as reviewed previously...although mistakes have been referenced by the Temple Administration, I do not think they apply to the same ones that I think did occur. So...longer term...we'll see what kind of learning really might have happened, if any did at all...that everyone can benefit from.

Final notes...we do not want to burn bridges. Who would? Fact is...Temple Shalom has done enormous good, and it continues to do this. For all we know...we may wish to be able to be a part of this institution in the future.

But...with the new school year just about to start, and with our needing to make a choice, and our being able to do so...we are voting with our feet. It seems we are doing that now.